The price tag for this great experience is pretty steep. In order to get the "early bird" registration fee, we had to register in July, and in July some of our classes weren't filled, so we weren't sure how many of our staff we could afford to take. The conference offers a reduction in price for participants who are willing to donate three hours of their time as volunteers. We had three staff members who on their own initiative signed up as volunteers in order to save our program part of the cost for them to attend the conference. What a strong statement that makes about how much these staff members value the opportunity to continue learning, and how much they care about Front Street Playschool! This just reinforces my belief that we have the very best staff to be found anywhere.

You may also be interested to know that Marna Winter and I were presenters at the conference. Our topic was inquiry-based learning. Last school year we gave a workshop to our staff on this topic and later in the school year, worked with Ellen Boyles, a young lady from Elon University, to incorporate this type of learning into the curriculum in some of our classrooms. As part of our conference presentation, we were able to share what we learned from that experience with the participants in our workshop.

Someone once told me that the best way to influence children is to be what you want them to be. One of our goals for children is for them to be lifelong learners, so how appropriate it is that we model that by continuing to be learners ourselves!

Miss Barbara

Race to Nowhere

Many of you may have heard of a film that is gaining national recognition called, "Race to Nowhere". We are fortunate that it will be shown locally, at The Elon School, this Tuesday, April 26th at 7 pm. Tickets are $10 in advance or $15 at the door. Visit www.racetonowhere.com to order advance tickets and to learn more.
The film-maker is a mother who has become concerned about in her words, "the high-stakes, high pressure culture that has invaded our schools and our children's lives". The film has encouraged a groundswell of grassroots advocacy across the country.

The promotional flyer I received offers a sad, but I am afraid, fairly accurate portrayal of many current school practices:

• High-stakes testing has replaced meaningful teaching and learning.


• Cheating is commonplace.


• Stress-related illness, depression and burnout are rampant.


• Many young people arrive at college and the workplace unprepared and uninspired.

Our local administrators feel they must respond to the pressure they receive to meet testing standards. To keep their jobs, teachers must teach in the way that they are required to do by the administration. The only way things will change is if pressure is brought to bear on state and national legislators by concerned citizens.

Please see this film so that you will be an informed advocate for our children. I encourage you to make your friends aware as well.

I think it should be well worth the $10!

Miss Barbara

Well, I didn't know that, but I couldn't have agreed more. The mom went on to comment on how interesting it was for that particular magazine, which deals primarily with technology, to favor such a low-tech approach. I was intrigued, and went home and looked it up. (This low-tech grandmother does appreciate that computers have their uses.)

What I found was an article by Geek Dad (who else?), listing the five best toys for children as:

1. Stick
2. Box
3. String
4. Cardboard tube
5. Dirt

I would also add water to his list of basically free playthings. I am providing a link below so that you can read this delightful, entertaining article for yourself.

The reason these everyday, readily available objects have such value as toys is that they are so versatile and open-ended. A box can be a train engine, a time machine, a television or a treasure chest. A cardboard tube can be a sword, a magic wand, a trumpet or a telescope. The reason that they probably appeal to Geek Dad is that he understands that playing with this kind of toy builds brain connections, because they require that children think, plan, solve problems and use their imaginations. Those processes actually have a profound effect on brain growth! Many of them also encourage physical exercise and going outdoors, activities which are becoming less common in these increasingly screen dominated times.

There are a few "bought" toys that encourage the same kind of imaginative play; blocks and balls being the ones that come immediately to mind, but most commercial toys are designed to only be used in one way. They are limited to being one thing, which cannot easily become other things. Many of them actually operate themselves - walking, talking, etc., demanding little engagement from the child, who therefore soon loses interest.

Of course, we will all still continue to buy some of the popular toys that our children and grandchildren crave, and we will be grateful for them to occasionally plug into media when we need a few minutes of peace and quiet, but when they tire of their toys, or when they have been staring at a screen with that glazed-over- tractor-beam gaze for way too long, why not drag out a big box or a cardboard tube? If they seem uncertain how to begin, you might read them one of the books by Antoinette Portis that I discovered from Geek Dad, Not a Box and Not a Stick, for a little jumpstart; but I'm betting they will know exactly what to do, in which case you can just stand back and prepare to be amazed by the magic and the genius of authentic childhood play.

You can read the article by Geek Dad, Jonathan Liu, for yourself at:
www.wired.com/geekdad/2011/01/the-5-best-toys-of-all-time/all/1.

Miss Barbara

Just go to the school system website: http://abss.k12.nc.us/ and click on "Superintendent Search Community Survey". Then go to the "survey monkey" link.

The deadline for completing the survey is January 13. I encourage everyone in our community to let your voice be heard.

On much of the survey you have to choose your answers from selected responses, but if you go to section # 8 there is a space for comments. That is your opportunity to say whatever is on your mind.

My personal priorities for a superintendent include:

• Someone who will put the best interest of the children in Alamance County above all else, including his/her career advancement.
  (In order to know what is truly in children's best interest this individual should have a genuine understanding of, or be willing to learn about all stages of child development, from preschool through adolescence.)
• Someone who understands that the individual teacher is the factor with the greatest potential to influence children's educational success; and recognizing that, the superintendent demonstrates respect for teachers by listening to and valuing what they say, and then responds by doing everything possible to give each teacher the support he/she needs.
• Someone who is open to new ideas.
• Someone who takes a long-range view rather than looking for the quick fix, realizing that new initiatives take time to achieve real results.
• Someone who values social and emotional, as well as academic learning and is more committed to raising well-rounded students than to merely raising test scores.
• Someone whose understanding of the differing needs of students at different ages, rather than an inclination to follow what is trendy, guides curriculum decisions. As one example, such a person would be committed to providing up-to-date technology in all high schools while providing more hands-on experiences and relatively less screen time for our youngest students, because that is what is developmentally appropriate for each age.
• Someone who understands how schools can address drop-out prevention beginning in kindergarten, rather than waiting until high school.

Your priorities will no doubt be different from mine. Please take advantage of this opportunity to let them be heard today. Remember, the deadline is January 13!

I am providing email addresses for our school board members below, to make it easy for you to also contact them personally. They are elected to serve the citizens of Alamance County, and as with all public servants, they need to know what our wants and needs are in order to do their jobs. If we don't tell them what we want, we have no right to complain if we don't get it! Be an advocate for our children!

Email addresses for School Board Members:

• Jackie Cole - parker@mebtel.net
• Steve Van Pelt - svanpelt@triad.rr.com
• Mary Erwin - merwin@triad.rr.com
• Patsy Simpson - ptsysm@aol.com
• Brad Evans - evansgra@bellsouth.net
• Tony Rose - TonyRoseNC@gmail.com
• Kris Moffitt - smoff91472@aol.com

While you are at it, drop a line to our legislators in Raleigh, telling them how important it is to minimize cuts to the education budget:

• Rick.Gunn@ncleg.net
• Alice.Bordsen@ncleg.net
• Dan.Ingle@ncleg.net

Miss Barbara.

Dear Editor,
Thank you for addressing education reform in your recent editorial. I agree that our country needs to take a hard look at our current system of education, which is failing many children; however, I am very disappointed in the direction that the conversation around education reform has taken. I believe that a number of important elements have been overlooked. Over and over again we are told that children in other countries are achieving at higher levels than our students, so therefore we should emulate those countries. To do that, we are told, our children must have a longer school year made up of longer days. Yet Finland, whose students are at the very top in various measures of academic knowledge, is nearer the bottom for time spent in school. Students in several high performing countries actually begin academic instruction a year or more later than ours. How do they do it? In Finland, children do not begin formal schooling until they are 7 years old; however all six year olds are offered the opportunity to participate in a preparatory year that emphasizes social and emotional learning (getting along with others, taking responsibility, learning to be a part of a group, developing self-control, being a good citizen) so that when they do begin academic studies they are prepared to learn very quickly. There are far too many adults, many of them in positions of power, who have never learned those self-regulatory skills, and we are suffering as a society because of that lack in many ways, from the high number of grandparents who find themselves raising their grandchildren because those children's parents are not socially responsible, to the lack of civility apparent in many political discussions.

Robert Fulghum was right; everything we really need to know could be learned in kindergarten. We have evidence from long-term studies following children from preschool age into adulthood which show that children who have the kinds of nurturing pre-school and early school experiences that emphasize social and emotional skills as well as developmentally appropriate academic preparation are more likely to be employed, are less likely to be involved in crime or use drugs, in essence are BETTER, MORE PRODUCTIVE CITIZENS, and isn't that our true goal?

Americans are not a patient people. We want immediate results, preferably within an election cycle. The results of what we do for our youngest children today will not be apparent for 15 to 20 years, but they will eventually be seen, and our society will have to live with those results. For that reason we need to take a long term approach to reform, based on what we know about how children learn best, rather than trying a new "quick fix" every few years, particularly those that are more about test scores than about providing true learning experiences.

More time in school may be beneficial in some instances, but the answer to making ours a great country with a great system of education is not more hours and days of doing the same things that aren't working now. At the Alamance Citizens for Education Summit last year the Chairman of the NC State Board of Education, Dr. William Harrison, noted that most kindergarteners come to school excited and eager to learn, but " the longer children are in school, the less they like us." As a preschool director I see that excitement and eagerness every day, and it breaks my heart to think that it may one day be squelched. For their sake and ours I sincerely hope that through the discussion surrounding education reform we will arrive at ways to help children experience the joy of lifelong learning.

Barbara Long

I am on their email list and so receive their online newsletter. You may be on that list too and if so, you may have read the recent article entitled "Playing to Learn", but if not, I encourage you to click on the link below and read it. It does a great job of describing the kinds of classrooms that our children need: www.nytimes.com/2010/02/02/opinion/02engel.html?ref=opinion

For more information about ACE you can go their website: www.alamanceforeducation.org

Barbara

One had to do with multi-tasking, which many people consider an essential 21st century skill. A group of students at Stanford University were specially chosen to participate in a study, based on their high frequency of multi-tasking; for example, texting, looking at Facebook, listening to a classroom lecture and searching the internet, all at the same time, using multiple screens. These students underwent brain imaging to measure how quickly they were able to switch between tasks without losing focus. Even though the students were very confident in their multi-tasking abilities, the brain imaging showed that, in fact, they performed quite poorly.

Professors from several universities commented that the study reinforces what they have observed for themselves, that students today, while they are as bright as those of the past, are not able to focus for long periods of time. Mark Bauerlein from Emory University claims that English professors say they cannot assign a book of over 300 pages anymore, and in fact, one student who was interviewed boasted that he had not read a book in years. He relies on the internet equivalent of Cliff notes. (On the program they showed him "reading" Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet", or rather an extremely shortened version of the play. He said it took him about fifteen minutes. Do you think Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave?) As someone who loves getting "lost" in a great book, I hate to think of a future generation not enjoying that same pleasure.

Professors also say that students demonstrate disorganized thinking. Their papers are often a series of unrelated paragraphs rather than written to build on a central thought. To keep their attention they need to be stimulated in ways that previous students did not. Sherry Turkle, a psychologist and director of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self, says that students have done themselves a disservice by "drinking the Kool-Aid", believing that constant distraction is good for them. This is certainly food for thought as we find ourselves being drawn into the culture of multi-tasking, and as we raise our children in this culture.

Another fascinating segment talked about the Asian game addiction problem. In Korea, game addiction is rampant and is officially regarded as a psychological illness. Young people in particular seem to be susceptible. They showed one young man going to an Internet Rescue Camp for treatment. The thing that was most interesting to me was that the treatment provided in these camps consists largely of having the kids go outside, interact with one another, and participate in physical, hands-on activities. The reporter for the story called it "recapturing the childhood they lost to computers". I don't know about you, but that is one of the saddest and scariest things I have heard in a long time.
Of course there are many, many positive things about technology. For one, it is the reason I can write this blog and you can read it. The question is not whether it is good or bad. It's not that simple. But as my mama used to say, "You can have too much of even a good thing." I think that is where the problem lies. Time spent with media is time that is not available for doing other things. This is a particular concern for children, because their brains are not yet fully developed, and in order to develop properly they have to have lots of something that digital media cannot provide; they need input from all of their senses.

I recently read about Swallowtail School, a private school in Hillsboro, Oregon, which postpones use of computer skills in the classroom until high school "to give them a break from the electronic impulses coming at them all the time, so their sensory abilities are more open to what's happening around them". What makes this especially interesting to me is that among the families who send their children to this school are several employees of Intel, the well-known technology company. The founder and faculty chair of the school says, "These parents value technology, but they understand that there are aspects of being a human that aren't inside a computer." We all know that, but unless we are intentional in acting on it we can all too easily find ourselves drawn into the lifestyle of distraction that digital media offers.

I am going to try to be more aware of this in my own life, and with my grandchildren. In fact, reading what I have written, I think it's time for me to turn off my computer, phones and television, and go for a walk!

Wishing you well,
Barbara

One of the things I am often asked is to explain the difference between a "playschool" and a "preschool". It's a little bit like being asked to explain the difference between a beagle and a dog. My answer is that we are both. We are a "preschool" by virtue of the fact that we work with children who are preschool age. We are a "playschool" because we chose that name as a way to describe our philosophy which is centered on the knowledge, well-documented by research, that children learn best through play.

That speaks to another common question: "Do the children just play, or do they learn things?" Children in our program do learn, and as previously mentioned they learn in the best way possible, through play. As one of our parents once told me, "They learn so much without even realizing that they're learning. They just think they're having fun!" Our goal is not just for children to learn specific concepts (although they do learn those), but also to help children develop a lifelong love of learning, to believe that learning and fun are synonymous.

Another question I am sometimes asked is, "Why does my child need to go to a preschool? I stay home with her. She already knows her colors, can count to 300, sings the "ABC" song and is reading War and Peace." Okay, I am kidding about War and Peace, but you get the picture. Obviously this is a very bright child, with parents who have been able to spend quality time with him/her and provide many forms of enrichment. How will Playschool benefit this child?

I think that a part of the answer to this question has to do with changes in our world, neighborhoods and families. First, we are very much a mobile society. Many of us do not live near family members. Our children don't have the experience of playing with cousins, being "baby-sat" by grandparents, aunts or uncles on any kind of regular basis, and their parents may not have the wisdom of those elders, who have already experienced the challenges of raising children, to rely on as a resource when they need support. Secondly, in many families (the majority in some areas), both parents work away from home. Most of the children in those families go to some kind of out-of-home care during the work day. That limits the availability of daytime playmates in the neighborhood. Playschool can serve the role of extended family, providing peer play for children and a support system for parents.

The children in each class learn so much from each other. Many of those things can only be learned by the experience of interacting with children of a similar age. They learn how to share, to use words to get their needs met, to be neither a bully nor a victim, to negotiate, compromise and resolve conflicts with peers, to tolerate and even come to appreciate different personalities. These are the skills that will give them a head start in life over and beyond their academic knowledge.

We strive to create a warm nurturing environment where a child can learn that, in addition to his parents, there are other caring adults he can trust. That gives the child the security to face other separations from parents, such as the first day of kindergarten, with greater self-confidence.

Which brings me to the last of the questions I am most often asked: "Will playschool prepare my child for kindergarten?" We get excellent feedback from kindergarten teachers in our community as to how well prepared our students are, both academically and socially. Not a year goes by without a parent of a former student telling me, "My child's teacher said she was the most prepared student in her class." That being said, if you have read any of my previous posts you know that I have deep concerns about the direction in which our kindergartens seem to be headed and the inappropriate expectations that many of them have for young children. For that reason, the question becomes not "Will my child be prepared for kindergarten?" but also, "Will kindergarten be appropriate for my child?" Unless the answer is "Yes", I cannot promise that your child will love kindergarten. However, one of the biggest indicators of how well a child will do in school is his/her ability to self-regulate, and that is one of the skills we work hard to develop in our students. Interestingly, research shows that dramatic play is the single best activity for developing self-regulation and we provide many, many opportunities for that. Children who have good self-regulation handle frustration, whether from boredom or from being expected to master skills beyond their developmental level, better than those with poor self-regulation. That alone helps them be prepared for whatever challenges lie ahead.

I have written all of this in reference to the program I direct, Front Street Playschool, the only one of which I have intimate knowledge, but to anyone reading this who for reasons of geography or other circumstance can't or won't be affiliated with us, I can safely say that a child who has participated in some type of high quality preschool experience, wherever that might be, will be better prepared as a result of that experience than if he/she had no group experience prior to kindergarten.

Wishing you well,

Miss Barbara

Almost compulsively we ask every child we see, "What do you want for Christmas?" Then we bemoan the commercialization of Christmas. But we have the opportunity to be part of the solution to the problems of materialism and greed in the world. We can help our own children experience the joy of giving, which each of us knows in our hearts is more gratifying and more lasting than the short-term thrill of receiving. Let your child make a card and pick out a bag of fruit to take to an older person, or count out change to put in the Salvation Army kettles outside of Walmart. Tell the story of Jesus' birth, not once, but many times. Tell the history behind each ornament as you decorate your tree. Pray together. Let your child see the joy of Christmas in the things you say and do. That is the best gift you can give.

My Christmas wish for your family:

May you taste the love in every Christmas cookie,
Hear the joy in every song,
Feel the warmth in every present,
And in the midst of all the celebration
May you make room for peace.

Wishing you well,

Barbara

Halloween is Not so Scary

Almost every year someone asks me how I feel about celebrating Halloween with young children, especially in a church setting. My personal feeling is that Halloween is much like many other things in life; it's all about how you look at it. I look at it as a learning opportunity.

At our school we tell the story of why being a Christian is like being a pumpkin. Many of you have heard it, but in case you haven't, here is the short version:

This is a great story to tell as you carve your Jack o'lantern. There is also a wonderful book version, called The Pumpkin Parable by Liz Curtis Higgs.

If we teach children to see every Jack o'lantern as a reminder of God's love, they will remember that image throughout their lives, and be reminded of it every Halloween. How powerful an opportunity is that?

There are scary things in the world. We protect our children from them as best we can, but even very young children have fears. Halloween offers a wonderful opportunity to talk with children about fear and what we can do when we feel afraid. My childhood nighttime fear was that there were crocodiles living under my bed at night, who would grab any part of my body that I was careless enough to let dangle off of the bed. Obviously that was a totally irrational fear, but I have spoken with other people with very similar fears. What was yours? There's a wonderful book that many of our teachers use, called There's a Nightmare in My Closet by Mercer Mayer, which deals with just those kinds of fears. Two more good books are Go Away Big Green Monster, by Ed Emberley and The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark, by Jill Tomlinson and Paul Howard. I love the way these books empower children.

One of the reasons children are fearful is that in a big world that is filled with many people, most of whom are larger than they are, preschoolers may feel very small and powerless. Dressing up as a superhero or someone with magical powers makes them feel more powerful. They can pretend to be that invincible person, and "pretend" is what children do best. It is how they make sense of the world, how they deal with issues that may feel too big for them to talk about, how they try out different strategies for solving problems, how they "try on" different personalities.

Also, by pretending, children learn what is real. They come to know that putting on a costume does not truly change a person. If I put on a costume, I can also take it off. If I see someone else in a costume, there is a person underneath. A special note: Some children have a really hard time with this. If your child is truly terrified by people in costumes, always remove the child from those situations, but do give him/her many opportunities to dress up. Through the years we have had a few children with this kind of fear. That is why we ask that parents in our program always check with us before inviting any costumed visitors to playschool. Clowns seem to be especially upsetting, but we also had a bad experience once with Clifford the Big Red Dog, so we are always cautious! If your child has this kind of fear, it is best to skip Halloween parties altogether until the child is older, but do try some "bibliotherapy" with the books above and others in the same vein.

So, while I do not care for the explicit gruesomeness sometimes associated with Halloween, I don't believe it is necessary to shun Halloween altogether either. There are many things in the world scarier than Halloween, things like child abuse, hunger, cancer, poverty, war, bigotry, illiteracy, sexual exploitation, greed and the examples we see on the news every night of man's inhumanity to man. We can handle Halloween. I believe we can even use it to teach our children positive things.
And on that note ....

If you are looking for a wholesome way to celebrate October 31st with your young child, come to the Front Street Playschool Truck or Treat fundraiser in the parking lot between Front and Davis Streets in downtown Burlington, immediately in front of Front Street UMC.

Parking is available behind our church, as well as in both the Macedonia Lutheran Church lot and the First Christian United Church of Christ lot.

Admission is $5 per person with a family cap of $20.

Children can "truck or treat" at a huge assortment of vehicles - a concrete mixer, limo bus, school bus, fire truck, numerous law enforcement vehicles, dirt bikes, limousine and leaf truck, to name only a few.

We will also have games for 25 cents a ticket, and construction centers, face painting and temporary tattoos for the children to enjoy for FREE, with the price of admission.

Hours are 10:00 am until 1 pm.

Tell your friends.

Miss Barbara

We don't go to this conference every year, because of the cost, but when I heard that the keynote speaker was Dr. Becky Bailey, I was determined to take as many of the staff as could go this year.

I have been hearing great things about her work in social and emotional learning for a couple of years now, and last year we sent two of our staff members to a two day workshop she led in Winston-Salem. They both came back saying that it was a life altering experience. Fifteen of us were able to hear her speak last Thursday and Friday, and I think we all agree with that description.

Through her keynote address and two workshops, we learned some wonderful new techniques and attitudes that we are excited to begin incorporating into our program over the course of the school year. I know that I speak for all those who were able to go in saying how grateful we are for the opportunity to continue learning about how best to meet the needs of the children we teach.

To find out more about what we learned from Dr. Bailey, you can visit her website: www.consciousdiscipline.com.

I particularly recommend reading "Becky's top ten things to do".

Miss Barbara

I believe that this editorial is an example of the way in which the majority of the media, perhaps unintentionally, propagates the notion that standardized test scores are the be-all and end-all in assessing learning.

Miss Barbara

Some Thoughts on Potty Training

I am often asked for advice on potty training children, particularly by the parents of children who will be entering our three year old program in the fall and the child is not yet trained. I don't advocate pushing a young child into potty training too soon, but in my personal experience, by age three the vast majority of children are developmentally ready. When a three year old is not trained, it is often because the training experience has become a power struggle.

Although it is our policy that children be potty trained in order to be in a three year old class (unless there is a medical reason that he/she cannot be), we do give children who haven't yet mastered it at home a one month trial period at school, and often, even children whose parents thought they were nowhere near meeting this big milestone are successful at school. I believe there are a couple of reasons for that.

One is that when the child realizes that other children in the class are using the toilet "positive peer pressure" kicks in, and he wants to be like everyone else. Another is that, if a power struggle has developed, parents rarely win - you can lead a preschooler to the potty, but you can't make him pee! But at school, when parents are not present, they become less a part of the equation. The child feels more in charge of his own toileting, and preschoolers love being in charge.

Of course I am in no way suggesting that parents should not go ahead and try to potty train their children before school begins, and when asked, I do share some tips that have worked for a number of parents and children through the years. If you decide that they might be worth trying, I hope they work for you.

First, get rid of the "pull-up" diapers during waking hours. Pull ups are made to hold water, so the child does not have the true sensation of how wet or soiled pants really feel. He becomes desensitized. I have been a preschool director for 25 years, and until pull-ups came along I rarely saw a child who was not potty-trained by three.

I recommend buying a stack of underpants - let your child pick out his/her own. Frilly princess ones often appeal to girls and Thomas the train, Spiderman or whatever your son's favorite characters are usually good for boys. Next, clear your calendar for a couple of days. (Yes, that can be inconvenient, but it will pay off in the long run. Just think of all the money you will save on diapers, not to mention how many fewer you will be sending to the landfill, and of course how proud you and your child will feel. )

Plan to spend as much of the day as possible in a space that will not be ruined by "accidents". Some people even choose to spend the day in the backyard.

Be prepared to do lots of laundry. Stock the space with: the stack of underwear, wipes, a plastic dirty-clothes receptacle of some kind -a bucket works well - toys, books and art materials for your child, something productive for yourself, and a mop and towels for cleaning up.

Have the child put on a pair of underwear with no pants over them, to make it easier for him to remove them when he needs to. Tell your child in a matter-of-fact way that since he is wearing underwear today he will need to remember to go to the bathroom when he needs to wet or poop (or whatever euphemisms your family uses). Let him have as much drink as he wants, to insure opportunities to practice. If he has an accident, calmly tell him, "Uh oh, you had an accident. I will clean up the floor while you change your wet pants." As you are cleaning, you can talk him through the steps if needed. "Take off your wet pants. Now put them in the bucket." When he has done that say "Now get a wipe and clean your bottom." "Now put on some dry pants." "Good job of getting dressed! Let's wash your hands". While you are washing hands you can remind him in a conversational way that "Next time, you can go to the bathroom before you wet."

One of the keys to this method is maintaining a low key attitude. That helps take some of the fuel away from the power struggle. Another is that by giving the child the responsibility for changing himself you let him be in charge, and as previously mentioned, preschoolers love being in charge.

What if your child refuses to put on underwear? No problem. Tell him that is fine, he doesn't have to wear any today, but if he asks for a pull-up, just answer with a friendly, "no, we're not wearing pull-ups today." As a precaution, you may want to put the pull-ups package out of sight on the top shelf of your closet. When he has an accident, you say, "Uh oh, you wet the floor. Come help me clean it up please."

The no pants method is also good for children who just don't seem to make the connection between their body producing urine and their pants getting wet.

Because children internalize concepts through play, another experience that can help with understanding the concept is to use a doll that wets, to let your child "train" the doll. Again, this gives your child an opportunity to be in charge.

Another good strategy is to set a timer. When the timer goes off it is a signal for the child to try using the potty. That way it is the timer buzzer, not the parent who is reminding the child to go. A small reward for trying, such as a couple of Goldfish crackers, or bringing out a special toy which is reserved for this purpose can give the child a little incentive to 'try".

When your child successfully uses the toilet, you want him to feel proud of himself, but don't go overboard with praise, or you may make the stakes too high, especially if you have previously been in a power struggle. You want him to feel both that you are pleased, and that you had confidence that he would be able to do it.

For some children this process takes several days. It can be extremely hard to stay patient. Remind yourself that if you push too hard the result will be a no-win power struggle.

Sometimes we as parents have mixed feelings about our babies growing up. Potty training is a big step for both of you. Pat yourself on the back for helping your child grow in competence. Achieving toileting independence gives a child's self-esteem a big boost.

Good luck!
Miss Barbara

P.S. While you are working on potty training it is important to keep your sense of humor, so here is a little "potty humor" for you, sent to me by one of my staff. I love the way children look at the world!

Billy (age 3) is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long; so, she goes in to see what's up. Billy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But, about every 10 seconds or so, he puts the book down, grips the toilet seat with his left hand, and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

MOTHER: Billy are you alright? You've been in here for a while.

BILLY: I'm fine, Mommy. I just haven't gone 'Doody' yet.

MOTHER: OK, you can stay here a few more minutes. But Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?

BILLY: "Works for ketchup! "

Give it a try. I think you will like it.

Miss Barbara

• How the material they covered was actually way beyond the grade level of the students taking the tests
• How stressful they are for students and teachers
• How much time was spent cramming for the tests at the expense of other subjects and activities
• How many good students did not pass
• How those children who did not pass have lost their confidence in their ability to learn

Although the No Child Left Behind Act requires states to give tests to determine whether or not students have reached "proficiency", each state can choose their own test. You may remember that in the past, the test was changed to make it more "challenging". Our legislators need to hear that the test is now way beyond challenging. They need to hear personal stories of how the testing is affecting individual children, and they need to hear a LOT of them.

If you have a horror story please send it to the addresses below. Forward this to others you know who have similar stories. Hopefully, if they hear from enough people our legislators will make sure that changes are made before testing rolls around next year. We may not be able to stop the testing altogether, but this is one thing we can do for our children.

Contact Alice Bordsen at Alice.Bordsen@ncleg.net

Contact Tony Foriest at foriestin2@ncleg.net

Update:
The No Child Left Behind Act will be coming up for reauthorization, probably in 2010. Let your representatives in Congress know about the detrimental effects NCLB has had on our children. George Miller, from California is the chairperson of the education and labor committee which will lead the reauthorization. To get contact information for your congresspersons go to these links:

http://edlabor.house.gov/about/members

http://help.senate.gov/Education_index.html

Miss Barbara